# Ask FCS version 1.1



## Felonious Cat Stalker (May 1, 2002)

By request, and in celebration of my newly modified user name (also because I'm bored) FCS Motorsports is proud to bring to you a new ask FCS thread. So fire away. One question at a time please.


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## krylonkoopaa (Sep 13, 2002)

so fcs are we still a forum doomed?

and who won wrc sweden?


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## krylonkoopaa (Sep 13, 2002)

and why must you still say pop since you know soda pwns joo. mullet boy.


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## Felonious Cat Stalker (May 1, 2002)

krylonkoopa said:


> so fcs are we still a forum doomed?
> 
> and who won wrc sweden?


Well, as the ratio of females to nerds remains constant, yes, indeed, we are doomed to swordfighting.

Sebastien Loeb won, and is the first non-Scandinavian to win. Seems my predictions were way off for that one.


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## Felonious Cat Stalker (May 1, 2002)

krylonkoopa said:


> and why must you still say pop since you know soda pwns joo. mullet boy.


Umm, because it's pop. Everyone who's important knows that.


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## Ruben (Oct 15, 2002)

Why do you hide your online status? You being stalked?


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## Felonious Cat Stalker (May 1, 2002)

Ruben said:


> Why do you hide your online status? You being stalked?


I started getting weird random AIM messages from n00bs, like 16 year olds working at Denny's who want to import a Skyline or what transmissions they can put in their Maxima and people who just bought a brand new Sentra GXE and want to swap to a QR25. I figure if I lay low, I won't have as many lunatics IMing me. It's worked so far.


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## Shawn (Sep 18, 2002)

Do Canadians eat penguin meat?


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## Felonious Cat Stalker (May 1, 2002)

Shawn said:


> Do Canadians eat penguin meat?


Sure do, it's the secret ingredient in Poutine.


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## Shawn (Sep 18, 2002)

What the hell is Poutine? Is that a Canadian delicacy?


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## Felonious Cat Stalker (May 1, 2002)

Shawn said:


> What the hell is Poutine? Is that a Canadian delicacy?


How can you have been a member here so long and not know what poutine is?

Yes, it's a Canadian delicacy, involving French Fries, Gravy, Cheese and Ground Penguin.


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## sentra94xe (May 6, 2002)

Why is "Goonies" the best movie ever made?


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## LethalAudio (Feb 12, 2003)

Do you guys go crazy whenever any celebrity shows up or do you just really love Conan? I swear the first 10min of the shows were nothing but deafening cheers.


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## Felonious Cat Stalker (May 1, 2002)

sentra94xe said:


> Why is "Goonies" the best movie ever made?


Are you sure you don't have a bias because you starred as the Sloth?


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## Felonious Cat Stalker (May 1, 2002)

LethalAudio said:


> Do you guys go crazy whenever any celebrity shows up or do you just really love Conan? I swear the first 10min of the shows were nothing but deafening cheers.


Seeing as how a disproportionate numbers of celebrities come from here anyway, I'm going with no. The reason for the cheering was that they were giving out free beer.

PS - we hate Celine.


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## sentra94xe (May 6, 2002)

FCS said:


> Are you sure you don't have a bias because you starred as the Sloth?


Me? Noooo never...


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## LethalAudio (Feb 12, 2003)

Q from the first "Ask FCS"..."where do babies come from?"
Did you ever find out or is it still a mystery


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## Felonious Cat Stalker (May 1, 2002)

LethalAudio said:


> Q from the first "Ask FCS"..."where do babies come from?"
> Did you ever find out or is it still a mystery


I have a team of scientists, engineers and philosophers working on it now. Our grant was approved, so it will take the next 3 years and over 4 million dollars before we publish a report. Stay tuned!


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## Harris (Nov 11, 2002)

Here is my question to you, Jodie. 

What is string theory?


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## 3-fity (Nov 1, 2002)

FCS: How long until EVERYONE here hates me?


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## Felonious Cat Stalker (May 1, 2002)

Harris said:


> Here is my question to you, Jodie.
> 
> What is string theory?


Like, it tries to help out quantum physics and relativity. All the stuff is connected and stuff, and, like, if you pull the string you can travel through time and shit. It's cool, you should try it.


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## Felonious Cat Stalker (May 1, 2002)

alty02 said:


> FCS: How long until EVERYONE here hates me?


About 20 minutes ago.


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## nismoprincess (Sep 27, 2002)

what ever happened to Vicki the Robot from Small Wonder :fluffy:


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## dry (Oct 21, 2002)

When will you recieve your stickers?


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## dry (Oct 21, 2002)

oh and another thing, when will I not be constipated any more.


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## Hal Just Hal (Oct 21, 2002)

If a candian gets raped in the woods and no one is there to hear his screams does that mean he likes it?


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## Felonious Cat Stalker (May 1, 2002)

nismoprincess said:


> what ever happened to Vicki the Robot from Small Wonder :fluffy:


She was sold on the black market to a Kazakistanian terrorist group bent on using her as a missile guidance system.


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## Felonious Cat Stalker (May 1, 2002)

DryBoy said:


> When will you recieve your stickers?


When Michael Jackson proves, beyond all doubt, his innocence.


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## Felonious Cat Stalker (May 1, 2002)

DryBoy said:


> oh and another thing, when will I not be constipated any more.


When you remove the butt plug that koop left behind.


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## Felonious Cat Stalker (May 1, 2002)

**my'02altima** said:


> If a candian gets raped in the woods and no one is there to hear his screams does that mean he likes it?


Don't tease me like that Hal.


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## fastmode (Nov 25, 2003)

Is a HOUDINI an approprite thing to do to a girl?


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## Jeff (Oct 17, 2002)

So Canada condemns Conan O'Brien now?

http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tm...&u=/nm/20040213/en_nm/leisure_canada_conan_dc


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## Adam (Apr 30, 2002)

Why haven't you called?


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## Coco (Apr 30, 2002)

Why does Alty02 hate me?


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## Felonious Cat Stalker (May 1, 2002)

fastmode said:


> Is a HOUDINI an approprite thing to do to a girl?


There shouldn't be a need to stoop to trickery to fullfil you porn star fantasies. You either should find a girl willing to do that or get a hooker.


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## Felonious Cat Stalker (May 1, 2002)

MrEous said:


> So Canada condemns Conan O'Brien now?
> 
> http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tm...&u=/nm/20040213/en_nm/leisure_canada_conan_dc


The underlying problem here isn't the fact tha Triumph the insult dog did that, it's the fact that said character is a complete rip off of City TV's Ed the Sock.

No one up here listens to what Alexa McDonough and her Birkenstock wearing "political party" has to say anyway.


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## SR20 Who Knew? (Jul 29, 2003)

Will spam never stop tasting good?


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## Felonious Cat Stalker (May 1, 2002)

Adam said:


> Why haven't you called?


You want a telepwning?


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## Felonious Cat Stalker (May 1, 2002)

Coco said:


> Why does Alty02 hate me?


You aren't being singled out, he hates everyone.


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## Felonious Cat Stalker (May 1, 2002)

SR20 Who Knew? said:


> Will spam never stop tasting good?


What with all the salt, MSG and LSD, it will always be good stuff.


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## Dan-zig (Apr 19, 2003)

Where in the world is carmen san diego?


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## Slayer2003 (Jun 4, 2003)

is there any butter in my I Can't Believe It's Not Butter?



butter sound funny when ya say it fast. why?


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## Slayer2003 (Jun 4, 2003)

oh, and if there was a car, on the road with a flat, sinking in some quick-drying cement(...) and there was no spare, would AAA bring me a sandwich or something cause im getting kinda hungry....


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## Felonious Cat Stalker (May 1, 2002)

Dan-zig said:


> Where in the world is carmen san diego?


In my bed. Happy Valetine's Day.


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## Felonious Cat Stalker (May 1, 2002)

Slayer2003 said:


> is there any butter in my I Can't Believe It's Not Butter?
> 
> 
> 
> butter sound funny when ya say it fast. why?


No, because if there was, they would have called it "I can't believe it's not all butter."

budder buda. yeah, weird that there English language. Say it 100 times in a row, it will loose all meaning and every time you say it after, you'll think of this thread.


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## Felonious Cat Stalker (May 1, 2002)

Slayer2003 said:


> oh, and if there was a car, on the road with a flat, sinking in some quick-drying cement(...) and there was no spare, would AAA bring me a sandwich or something cause im getting kinda hungry....


Only if you get the platinum membership.


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## LethalAudio (Feb 12, 2003)

Who shot JR?


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## Felonious Cat Stalker (May 1, 2002)

LethalAudio said:


> Who shot JR?


An assaisin hired by Castro.


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## Dan-zig (Apr 19, 2003)

what are nights like with no valentine?


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## Felonious Cat Stalker (May 1, 2002)

Dan-zig said:


> what are nights like with no valentine?


They suck. Just a few more months until she's back.


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## SR20 Who Knew? (Jul 29, 2003)

What do your pace notes look like?


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## LethalAudio (Feb 12, 2003)

Why is a rabid racoon so damn hard to kill?


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## Felonious Cat Stalker (May 1, 2002)

SR20 Who Knew? said:


> What do your pace notes look like?


For the most part we use stage notes, which are supplied by the organisers and used by all teams. Here is a sample of the descriptions used in Canada:

http://www.tallpinesrally.com/2003/Competitors/TP2003_Notes_Intro-en.pdf

This includes a sample of the shakedown stage at the end, so you can put it all together.

In a lot of rallies, we actually drive blind, with only turns at junctions, cautions and any corner out of character with the road (ie - tightens or a tight corner after a series of fast corners), so the routebook can be very sparse.

Right now, there are very few rallies here that have true pace notes where the team gets to recce the stage and make their own notes. For those events, we'd stick with the style above for consistency.


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## Felonious Cat Stalker (May 1, 2002)

LethalAudio said:


> Why is a rabid racoon so damn hard to kill?


Maybe he's just lonely and needs attention. Have you ever placed yourself in the racoon's position?


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## Exalta (Jan 21, 2003)

Is that your dog in your avatar?What breed is it?

By the way, is she taking your gf's place while she's gone?


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## dry (Oct 21, 2002)

what land form is the best? (island, peninsula, landlock etc.)


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## Felonious Cat Stalker (May 1, 2002)

Exalta said:


> Is that your dog in your avatar?What breed is it?
> 
> By the way, is she taking your gf's place while she's gone?


Yes.
Heinz 57
Hell no, *he* isn't.


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## Felonious Cat Stalker (May 1, 2002)

DryBoy said:


> what land form is the best? (island, peninsula, landlock etc.)


Islands are best. You can get away from the throngs and the great unwashed, and shoot flaming arrows at them if they do try to come around.


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## FletchSpecV (Nov 26, 2002)

Do Canadians think they're better than Americans because they have the bigger part of the Niagra falls or is it because they have way better health care?


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## Felonious Cat Stalker (May 1, 2002)

FletchSpecV said:


> Do Canadians think they're better than Americans because they have the bigger part of the Niagra falls or is it because they have way better health care?


This thumbnail history of the country sums it up best:
We came for the scenery, stayed for the free health care and cheap education, and are leaving because of the taxes.


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## krylonkoopaa (Sep 13, 2002)

so were is Club mofo at weres the mofo roll call?


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## Hal Just Hal (Oct 21, 2002)

Will there be forum members jerking off to my sister in the Sister, Mom Roll Call thread?


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## Felonious Cat Stalker (May 1, 2002)

krylonkoopa said:


> so were is Club mofo at weres the mofo roll call?


Mofo is everywhere. We act by stealth and have a secret handshake, so there's no need for roll call.


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## Felonious Cat Stalker (May 1, 2002)

**my'02altima** said:


> Will there be forum members jerking off to my sister in the Sister, Mom Roll Call thread?


What do you think? Of course there will. In this forum every fetish is represented. And if your sis is half as sexy as you, then you better figure a signifigant # of members will be rubbing one out to her pic.


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## Marvin (Oct 16, 2002)

FCS,

Why do the cannucks hate Conan?


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## Felonious Cat Stalker (May 1, 2002)

Altim8GA said:


> FCS,
> 
> Why do the cannucks hate Conan?


I dunno, I thought he got lots of love. We even let him in our country a dressed him up in a mounty suit.

It's the PC whiners that he pissed off with the rather tasteless Triumph the Insult dog bit about separation. Really, he should have been advised that was a touchy subject that wouldn't get laughs. Meh, some days are diamonds though.


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## krylonkoopaa (Sep 13, 2002)

has my flyness decreased one bit since last time i asked?


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## dry (Oct 21, 2002)

how many testicles does the average adult koala bear have.


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## Coco (Apr 30, 2002)

ooo ooo, i know i know!!! :waving:


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## LethalAudio (Feb 12, 2003)

What is the square root of a piece of apple pie.


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## Felonious Cat Stalker (May 1, 2002)

krylonkoopa said:


> has my flyness decreased one bit since last time i asked?


Are you still scarfing down waffles? How about syrup? I doubt that you flyness ahd changed in any way.


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## Felonious Cat Stalker (May 1, 2002)

DryBoy said:


> how many testicles does the average adult koala bear have.


27. They're crazy testicle collecting freaks I tell ya.


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## Felonious Cat Stalker (May 1, 2002)

LethalAudio said:


> What is the square root of a piece of apple pie.


Mmmmm...pi.


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## Coco (Apr 30, 2002)

Does Canada have the same brands of gas stations as the U.S.? eg. Shell, Mobil, etc.


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## Felonious Cat Stalker (May 1, 2002)

Coco said:


> Does Canada have the same brands of gas stations as the U.S.? eg. Shell, Mobil, etc.


We have Shell, but we call Exxon "Esso" for some reason. No Mobil here, we have Ultramar, Petro Canada, Sunoco, Irving, Pioneer and a bunch of no-name companies whose gas you couldn't pay me to put in my car.


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## Hal Just Hal (Oct 21, 2002)

Does rectum make a good profolactic?


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## Felonious Cat Stalker (May 1, 2002)

**my'02altima** said:


> Does rectum make a good profolactic?


While it is very sensitive, it is too permeable to be effective against the spread of disease.


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## SR20 Who Knew? (Jul 29, 2003)

Have you really killed six people like your sig says?


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## Felonious Cat Stalker (May 1, 2002)

SR20 Who Knew? said:


> Have you really killed six people like your sig says?


Those are baninations. I was leading the forums until recently, but now myoung has taken over.


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## Hal Just Hal (Oct 21, 2002)

How many times have I come close to bannination?


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## Felonious Cat Stalker (May 1, 2002)

**my'02altima** said:


> How many times have I come close to bannination?


Never by me, you've always backed off after pushing things, and didn't whine about it, so it isn't a problem.


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## Dan-zig (Apr 19, 2003)

where will I find true love?


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## drift240sxdragqueen (Oct 23, 2002)

do you enjoy reading the 240 section? do other mods?


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## SR20 Who Knew? (Jul 29, 2003)

why do apple jacks dont taste like apple?


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## LIUSPEED (May 29, 2002)

why dont i have the upload into gallery like you do?


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## stealthb14 (Apr 30, 2002)

LIUSPEED said:


> why dont i have the upload into gallery like you do?


 I can answer that!

You're not teh cool!


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## Felonious Cat Stalker (May 1, 2002)

Dan-zig said:


> where will I find true love?


Litchenstein.


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## Felonious Cat Stalker (May 1, 2002)

drift240sxdrag said:


> do you enjoy reading the 240 section? do other mods?


Sometimes, I haven't been in there lately.


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## Felonious Cat Stalker (May 1, 2002)

SR20 Who Knew? said:


> why do apple jacks dont taste like apple?


Repost


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## Felonious Cat Stalker (May 1, 2002)

LIUSPEED said:


> why dont i have the upload into gallery like you do?


That's a question for a higher power. However, liu, even though I have that button, it doesn't work for me.


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## Hal Just Hal (Oct 21, 2002)

Would it be wrong of me to bang a bridesmaid at my upcoming wedding?


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## dry (Oct 21, 2002)

would it be wrong to go to the wedding of somebody I never met just to try to bang one of the bridesmaids?


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## Felonious Cat Stalker (May 1, 2002)

**my'02altima** said:


> Would it be wrong of me to bang a bridesmaid at my upcoming wedding?


Nah, this is your last, best hope for tri-dog action.


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## Felonious Cat Stalker (May 1, 2002)

DryBoy said:


> would it be wrong to go to the wedding of somebody I never met just to try to bang one of the bridesmaids?


No, it wouldn't be wrong, just make sure they're hot first. Or, if not, try for the sister of the groom.


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## Blank (Aug 21, 2003)

will i get banned for the masturbating Batboy pic???


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## Felonious Cat Stalker (May 1, 2002)

blankgazex said:


> will i get banned for the masturbating Batboy pic???


Depends who you piss off.


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## drift240sxdragqueen (Oct 23, 2002)

not sure if this was asked yet but, who were the 6 u killed?


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## nissmax88 (May 30, 2003)

How are you doing today


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## Felonious Cat Stalker (May 1, 2002)

drift240sxdrag said:


> not sure if this was asked yet but, who were the 6 u killed?


All spammers & trolls. No one worth bringing up the page for, as I'm on dial up and it would take 15 minutes to load.


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## Felonious Cat Stalker (May 1, 2002)

nissmax88 said:


> How are you doing today


Pretty good, thanks for asking. I actually think I've got some major life changes figured out, so I'm happy about that.


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## krylonkoopaa (Sep 13, 2002)

wich cartoon is the best


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## Felonious Cat Stalker (May 1, 2002)

krylonkoopa said:


> wich cartoon is the best


The Simpsons


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## Shawn (Sep 18, 2002)

Who taught krylonkoopa spelling and grammar?


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## krylonkoopaa (Sep 13, 2002)

yo momma.


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## Felonious Cat Stalker (May 1, 2002)

Shawn said:


> Who taught krylonkoopa spelling and grammar?


He's self taught. Pretty hard to tell, huh?


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## krylonkoopaa (Sep 13, 2002)

wich is better cheese nips or cheez-its ?


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## Felonious Cat Stalker (May 1, 2002)

Cheez-its


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## krylonkoopaa (Sep 13, 2002)

what is gods personal chariot


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## Hal Just Hal (Oct 21, 2002)

FCS What is best in life?!

(Only true answer to this question was givin by Arnold S.)


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## Felonious Cat Stalker (May 1, 2002)

krylonkoopa said:


> what is gods personal chariot


I heard it's the Nissan Maxima. Weird, isn't it?


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## Felonious Cat Stalker (May 1, 2002)

**my'02altima** said:


> FCS What is best in life?!
> 
> (Only true answer to this question was givin by Arnold S.)


Three letters, starts with an 'S' ends with an 'X' and has a whole bunch of "ooohs" in the middle.


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## krylonkoopaa (Sep 13, 2002)

FCS am I 2 legit to quit?


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## Felonious Cat Stalker (May 1, 2002)

krylonkoopa said:


> FCS am I 2 legit to quit?


You can't, won't & don't stop.


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## Blue2003SpecV (Dec 12, 2003)

How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop??? 

Its not 3 cause that cheating owl bastard bit it and thats not a lick!


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## Marvin (Oct 16, 2002)

Why are guys such asscocks and women such dirty tramping ho's?


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## Felonious Cat Stalker (May 1, 2002)

Blue2003SpecV said:


> How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop???
> 
> Its not 3 cause that cheating owl bastard bit it and thats not a lick!


This is a Type-R question for Ask FCS.


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## Felonious Cat Stalker (May 1, 2002)

Altim8GA said:


> Why are guys such asscocks and women such dirty tramping ho's?


Because deep down inside, that's our true nature. All this huggy get along with each other BS is just the big lie we tell ourselves to convince each other we're better than animals. When really, if left to our own devices, we'd run around sniffing each other's butts and whacking each other with sticks.


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## Blue2003SpecV (Dec 12, 2003)

FCS said:


> This is a Type-R question for Ask FCS.


well shit this is my first time to Ask FCS


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## Coco (Apr 30, 2002)

^ lmao..pwn3erized by FCS 1.1.


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## Hal Just Hal (Oct 21, 2002)

FCS said:


> Three letters, starts with an 'S' ends with an 'X' and has a whole bunch of "ooohs" in the middle.


Sorry FCS but it's, "Destroy your enemy, see him driven before you, and to hear the lementation of the women."


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## Marvin (Oct 16, 2002)

FCS,

If you could pwnerize one memeber of nf.com that you haven't quite pwned yet, which would it be?


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## Kalel (Jun 26, 2003)

"Eligible Canadian residents must correctly answer a time based, mathematical skill-testing question administered by phone/mail to be eligible for a prize."

WTF is with that


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## LethalAudio (Feb 12, 2003)

Is there anything you CANT do with duct tape? And is there anything that it WONT fix?


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## krylonkoopaa (Sep 13, 2002)

were did skee-lo go?


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## Felonious Cat Stalker (May 1, 2002)

**my'02altima** said:


> Sorry FCS but it's, "Destroy your enemy, see him driven before you, and to hear the lementation of the women."


Maybe for Arnie, but I enjoy a good shag the best.


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## Felonious Cat Stalker (May 1, 2002)

Altim8GA said:


> FCS,
> 
> If you could pwnerize one memeber of nf.com that you haven't quite pwned yet, which would it be?


Seeing as how I already pwn yuo all, there's nobody left. But, for a serious pwning to be reckoned with, I'd probably go with Kalel. Just because he's Kalel.


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## Felonious Cat Stalker (May 1, 2002)

Kalel said:


> "Eligible Canadian residents must correctly answer a time based, mathematical skill-testing question administered by phone/mail to be eligible for a prize."
> 
> WTF is with that


You can't just have a contest and give shit away up here, there has to be some "skill" involved. Unfortunately for me, it's never a contest of speed, they usually seem to take the cliched BEDMAS contest of math, and people's brains melt and they don't win because they forget everything they learned in grade 6.


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## Felonious Cat Stalker (May 1, 2002)

LethalAudio said:


> Is there anything you CANT do with duct tape? And is there anything that it WONT fix?


No, duct tape is clearly the best thing ever made. It's perfect from any ghetto repair you need to make, from patching your car's upholstery to holding your particle accelerator together.


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## Felonious Cat Stalker (May 1, 2002)

krylonkoopa said:


> were did skee-lo go?


Certainly not into your pants.


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## krylonkoopaa (Sep 13, 2002)

What would happen if the mega big 80's rock band STYX was Americas eternal overlords?


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## Felonious Cat Stalker (May 1, 2002)

We'd all be sporting those robot masks, doing the robot would be the official dance of America and the economy would suck, but no one would care because you'd all be sitting on a beach in Florida or California having robots bring you margaritas.

Oh, and Canada would continue as we always do, quietly shaking our heads at the US and shovelling snow.


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## krylonkoopaa (Sep 13, 2002)

But then what if Canada was over run by ABBA and thier hordes of minions?


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## Felonious Cat Stalker (May 1, 2002)

What do you mean "if"?


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## Marvin (Oct 16, 2002)

And what if ABBA controlled the weather and they took away all of the snow and made Canda have a better climate than Maui and tourists came in droves?


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## Felonious Cat Stalker (May 1, 2002)

Then I'd have to move to Sweden or Finland. I have to have snow for at least 3 months a year to go race in, or life just isn't right.


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## Hal Just Hal (Oct 21, 2002)

Will I ever get the call from upstairs to become a moderator?


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## krylonkoopaa (Sep 13, 2002)

ok what if Journey , Boston, foreigner,ELO were given god like powers and took over countries and started battles of epic proportions what would it be like oh great Canadien oracle FCS.


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## Felonious Cat Stalker (May 1, 2002)

**my'02altima** said:


> Will I ever get the call from upstairs to become a moderator?


Perhaps. If you join another board.


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## Felonious Cat Stalker (May 1, 2002)

krylonkoopa said:


> ok what if Journey , Boston, foreigner,ELO were given god like powers and took over countries and started battles of epic proportions what would it be like oh great Canadien oracle FCS.


I have a feeling it would resemble "Lord of the Rings meets Joe Dirt."


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## krylonkoopaa (Sep 13, 2002)

so iIs there a place in france were the naked ladies dance? and/or a hole in the wall so we could see it all?


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## Marvin (Oct 16, 2002)

or does it rain on the plains in Spain?


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## Felonious Cat Stalker (May 1, 2002)

Yes, there sure is. If you're nice I'll show you.


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## Coco (Apr 30, 2002)

What does a cow have in common with a building?


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## Felonious Cat Stalker (May 1, 2002)

Coco said:


> What does a cow have in common with a building?


They both taste good with mashed potatos and gravy.


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## Coco (Apr 30, 2002)

^ Now THAT'S what I'm talkin' 'bout!


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## 3-fity (Nov 1, 2002)

Why is this place full of douche bags?


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## Felonious Cat Stalker (May 1, 2002)

You bring out the best in people.


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## Rain-Xx (Jul 29, 2002)

So... where is Schlegs, anyway?


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## Felonious Cat Stalker (May 1, 2002)

He's waiting at the DMV for a member to pick him up so he can drop off his 200sx at the dealership to get it refitted for muffler bearings to pass the state visual inspection.


----------



## Coco (Apr 30, 2002)

If you were Miss Universe, what would you do to make the world a better place?


----------



## Felonious Cat Stalker (May 1, 2002)

I'd have everyone stand in a big circle and hold hands. Then we could all channel our spiritual energies into ending war, poverty and hunger.


----------



## krylonkoopaa (Sep 13, 2002)

so if train A left juction point at 11pm headed toward hillville at 690mph while train b left juntion trail headed toward hillville at 370 kph at 9pm, what would happen to Miami sound machine.


----------



## vector03 (Nov 12, 2003)

What is the average weight an Africanize Swallow can carry?


----------



## Felonious Cat Stalker (May 1, 2002)

krylonkoopa said:


> so if train A left juction point at 11pm headed toward hillville at 690mph while train b left juntion trail headed toward hillville at 370 kph at 9pm, what would happen to Miami sound machine.


They would continue to suck.


----------



## Felonious Cat Stalker (May 1, 2002)

vector03 said:


> What is the average weight an Africanize Swallow can carry?


17.


----------



## dry (Oct 21, 2002)

is my avatar "offensive" in any way?


----------



## Felonious Cat Stalker (May 1, 2002)

Apparently so. I think it would be best for you to change it. The main reason is a lot of people don't turn off avatars while at work. Someone glimpsing it might easily mistake it for something it is not, which could lead to that person getting fired. It's happened on other forums, I'd prefer if it didn't happen here.


----------



## dry (Oct 21, 2002)

your wish is my command.


----------



## Coco (Apr 30, 2002)

Should I stay or should I go?


----------



## 02bluespec (Jan 13, 2004)

Where does the white go when the snow melts?


----------



## 02bluespec (Jan 13, 2004)

Why is it when you go to the store and buy a pair of pants you only get opne item, but you buy a pair of shirts you get two items?


----------



## 02bluespec (Jan 13, 2004)

Why do you park on a driveway and drive on a parkway?


----------



## SR20 Who Knew? (Jul 29, 2003)

Don't you get motion sickness when you co drive?


----------



## Felonious Cat Stalker (May 1, 2002)

Coco said:


> Should I stay or should I go?


Go. And kick alty02 in the fun zone when you get there.


----------



## Felonious Cat Stalker (May 1, 2002)

02bluespec said:


> Where does the white go when the snow melts?


Down your pants.


----------



## Felonious Cat Stalker (May 1, 2002)

02bluespec said:


> Why is it when you go to the store and buy a pair of pants you only get opne item, but you buy a pair of shirts you get two items?


You just keep thinking that buster, and good luck.


----------



## Felonious Cat Stalker (May 1, 2002)

02bluespec said:


> Why do you park on a driveway and drive on a parkway?


Because Spec-Vs are slow.


----------



## Felonious Cat Stalker (May 1, 2002)

SR20 Who Knew? said:


> Don't you get motion sickness when you co drive?


No, surprisingly. Once I'm strapped in tight, with the stiff suspension, it doesn't matter what happens. I used to take ginger pills for it, but I found that even those aren't needed for motion sickness. My stomach actually feels worse outside the car, before we start the event, when I'm still nervous. But when the countdown starts on the line, I no longer have time for nervousness and I'm focused on the notes and the stage. the worst thing that can happen on a stage is a long series of jumps. By the end I'm usually shell shocked from trying to read the next instruction as the car is pounding along over the crests and landings.

However, navigating in car with a street suspension and stock seatbelts makes me wanna hurl. Definately need to take the ginger for that.

Also, a lot of other co-drivers take a patch for motion sickness. It works well, but you have to apply it a day in advance and some side effects include halucination and being high strung.


----------



## Coco (Apr 30, 2002)

Have you ever messed up while reading your notes that you had a bad crash? Did your partner kick the shit out of you?


----------



## Felonious Cat Stalker (May 1, 2002)

Not bad enough to crash. The only time I've messed up saying where we were going, I also pointed where we were really going. My driver hadbeen informed that pointing took precedence over talking, and went in the right direction.

In the 2 crashes I've had, one was driver error and one was pretty much bad luck, too much mud on an apex & we slipped into the ditch.


----------



## krylonkoopaa (Sep 13, 2002)

explain pace notes please? playing colin mcrae 3. I wanna know what the co driver is saying.


----------



## Marvin (Oct 16, 2002)

FCS,

Where can I find a good, sturdy douche bag?


----------



## stealthb14 (Apr 30, 2002)

Altim8GA said:


> Where can I find a good, sturdy douche bag?


 Find Alty02, and you're set


----------



## Felonious Cat Stalker (May 1, 2002)

krylonkoopa said:


> explain pace notes please? playing colin mcrae 3. I wanna know what the co driver is saying.


In rally there are 3 basic styles of notation for a stage:

The most basic is route notes, which feature turns at junctions, cautions, jumps and anything else "out of character with the road." Accordingly, these notes can be very sparse and speeds are slower because you slow down over many blind crests. This system was the most common in North America until recently

Stage notes, or organizer supplied notes, are a descrition of every turn, caution, crest and jump. They are very detailed and allow teams to go faster when they know what is over every hill. They are usually developed with a GPS. Turns are rated for their sharpness (here, 1 is a hairpin, 6 is a slight kink).

Pace notes are similar, except that it is the team that makes them in a recce run. It is up to the team to determine what information is included and what it means. When McRae does his, he uses the fastest gear he thinks he could take the corner in to describe it's severity. Some drivers differ, Burns uses a letter system. They may also note the line through the corner, hidden obstacles, and possible points that may collect rain. the only limit is how fast the co-driver can read it back and how much the driver can absorb. Carlos Sainz and Lois Moya are reported to use an astounding amount of info.

So, it really all depends. here's some basics we use;
1,2,3,4,5,6 - the severity of the turn
Jump - You will get in the air
Yump - You might get air
Crest - A brow in the road that reduces visibilty. You wouldn't likely get in the air (although we have)
Junction - A crossroad. we may or may not turn
Exposure - A drop off
Bump - Usually an understatement. More like mother of all potholes

All are notated in a short form, so:
L6 O/C -> 4R N/C 100 Jmp 60 4L<
becomes:
Left 6 over crest into 4 Right Don't Cut 100 Jump 60 4 Left Opens
The big numbers are approximate distance between feature and the roads is straight there.


----------



## Felonious Cat Stalker (May 1, 2002)

Altim8GA said:


> FCS,
> 
> Where can I find a good, sturdy douche bag?


What stealth said.


----------



## Marvin (Oct 16, 2002)

FCS,

What tools can be used to deflate such a douche bag?


----------



## 3-fity (Nov 1, 2002)

I will usually deflate after kicking the shit out of a dingleberry like Stealth.


----------



## Felonious Cat Stalker (May 1, 2002)

Altim8GA said:


> FCS,
> 
> What tools can be used to deflate such a douche bag?


The ban button.


----------



## 3-fity (Nov 1, 2002)

Dear FCS,

How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?


----------



## Felonious Cat Stalker (May 1, 2002)

That's an Ask FCS Type-R.


----------



## krylonkoopaa (Sep 13, 2002)

FCS I went to a bar last night and drank bottled pbr and it wasnt that bad. why is that?


----------



## 3-fity (Nov 1, 2002)

FCS said:


> That's an Ask FCS Type-R.


damnit. I was afraid it would be. ok.....

What is the quadratic equation?


----------



## Marvin (Oct 16, 2002)

cuz its an award winner. Blue ribbon.


----------



## stealthb14 (Apr 30, 2002)

alty02 said:


> damnit. I was afraid it would be. ok.....
> 
> What is the quadratic equation?


----------



## SR20 Who Knew? (Jul 29, 2003)

Is this thread slowly turning into the ask stealthb14 thread?


----------



## 02bluespec (Jan 13, 2004)

Does it really matter if they can't hear them but you can?


----------



## Ruben (Oct 15, 2002)

Why has OT sucked recently?


----------



## Felonious Cat Stalker (May 1, 2002)

Someone let the riff raff in.


----------



## Blank (Aug 21, 2003)

why are thyere funny red bumps on my genetalia??


----------



## Felonious Cat Stalker (May 1, 2002)

You need to stop using sand paper when you masturbate.


----------



## Blank (Aug 21, 2003)

hmmmm, im not going cold turkey though... its best to ween yourself off of it...


----------



## krylonkoopaa (Sep 13, 2002)

FCS I wanna vote but my painful addiction to thousand island dressing made me forget. so help a fool out. 











p.s its soda


----------



## Felonious Cat Stalker (May 1, 2002)

Just vote! Is it so hard? Damn North American voter apathy.


----------



## SR20 Who Knew? (Jul 29, 2003)

Will the polar ice caps melt causing California to be submerged under water any time soon?


----------



## Slayer2003 (Jun 4, 2003)

wanna help me hurt the person/s that keep smashing my mail box?


----------



## Felonious Cat Stalker (May 1, 2002)

SR20 Who Knew? said:


> Will the polar ice caps melt causing California to be submerged under water any time soon?


No, unfortunately not.


----------



## Felonious Cat Stalker (May 1, 2002)

Slayer2003 said:


> wanna help me hurt the person/s that keep smashing my mail box?


I'll have to decline your offer. Maybe some buck shot in their fender will persuade them not to fuck with your shit. Oh noes!!! I just cursed. I hope no one reports me to a moderator.


----------



## dry (Oct 21, 2002)

how can you afford free electric copies of NPM for EVERY winner in the NF awards, and if somebody wins 2 catagories, will they recieve 2 copies of NPM? If you win twice, can I get your second free E-subscription in a trade for some stickers? Lemme know -James


----------



## Felonious Cat Stalker (May 1, 2002)

It's simple. Because -Silvia- has been generating extra electrons in krylon's computer, GFoS now has a surplus of transferable info to distribute. This allows totally free copies of NPM to be distributed to the winner!!! Also, there's enough extra energy for me to get some kickback, so if anyone wants, you can pm me with your email and I'll sign you up for free spam in your email, everyday!!! It's really that easy!

Double winners will get 2 copies, which they may share, keep or donate to charity. If I win 2 categories, I will totally give one copy to you in exchange for some stickers!!!


----------



## Coco (Apr 30, 2002)

Is it considered gay to not sport a beard in hockey? What's the history behind it? Is it because of the cold?


----------



## Bumpin (Feb 18, 2003)

If a white cop had a black dick, would he beat it?


----------



## Felonious Cat Stalker (May 1, 2002)

Coco said:


> Is it considered gay to not sport a beard in hockey? What's the history behind it? Is it because of the cold?


It's the playoff beard, grown for good luck after the end of the regular season.


----------



## Felonious Cat Stalker (May 1, 2002)

Bumpin240sx said:


> If a white cop had a black dick, would he beat it?


Damn straight.


----------



## 7875 (Apr 3, 2003)

Lakers or Pistons? 
In how many games?


----------



## Felonious Cat Stalker (May 1, 2002)

Who for what now?


----------



## Coco (Apr 30, 2002)

FCS said:


> It's the playoff beard, grown for good luck after the end of the regular season.


 never knew that...cool tradition.


----------



## Rain-Xx (Jul 29, 2002)

FCS, why are you so cool that your thread can be ressurected and then people carry on with it as if it's business as usual?

How can I be as cool as you?

where can I get some good poutine on the West Coast? 

What would happen if the conservatives formed a majority government but had no one elected in Quebec?


----------



## Felonious Cat Stalker (May 1, 2002)

Ranex said:


> FCS, why are you so cool that your thread can be ressurected and then people carry on with it as if it's business as usual?
> 
> How can I be as cool as you?
> 
> ...


Dude, the premise of ask FCS is to only ask 1 question at a time, but I didn't put the rule in this version.

Anyway:
1. Because I am Canadian
2. See answer 1.
3. The quality of poutine is inversely proportional to one's proximity to an area of land located somewhere between Montreal and Quebec city (geologists and social scientists are working on the exact location as we speak). Therefore, if you lived in Trois Rivieres, you could expect to be eating some kick ass poutine, whereas a poor schmuck like yourself, living out in the left coast, can expect nothing better than 3 day old half cooked frites with runny gravy that has no artery clogging goodness and processed cheese slices on top. Also, to be truly good, said poutine must be made at a casse-croute or patiserrie. In short, n'est pas bon for you.
4. Mwahahahaha. That would rock. Finally we could have a governemnt that doesn't pander to Quebec (as much). We've had a PM from Quebec (save for Kim C.'s 5 days of rule) for the entirety of your life! That truly sucks. Time for the rest of the country to have a voice, before Alberta, realizing just how much they're propping up the whole country, takes the money and runs.


----------



## Radioaktiv (Feb 12, 2004)

how come sometimes when i poop, i can wipe and wipe and wipe...but the paper just never seems to come clean?
is there more poop in there?
im pushing hard to get it all out, but sometimes i have to wipe like 30 times.
and man its really killing my butt hole


----------



## Felonious Cat Stalker (May 1, 2002)

Radioaktiv said:


> how come sometimes when i poop, i can wipe and wipe and wipe...but the paper just never seems to come clean?
> is there more poop in there?
> im pushing hard to get it all out, but sometimes i have to wipe like 30 times.
> and man its really killing my butt hole


You might want to see a doctor for that.


----------



## lshadoff (Nov 26, 2002)

Radioaktiv said:


> how come sometimes when i poop, i can wipe and wipe and wipe...but the paper just never seems to come clean?
> is there more poop in there?
> im pushing hard to get it all out, but sometimes i have to wipe like 30 times.
> and man its really killing my butt hole


Those of us in the know use the battery powered Acme ButReamer 2










The Coarse (black) end gets that stubborn stuff, and the Fine (red) end leaves you feeling clean and refreshed.

Lew


----------



## Slayer2003 (Jun 4, 2003)

Autobots or Decepticons?

paper or plastic?

Coke er Pepsi?

CH3NO2 or CH4O?

on or off?

Define your answers....in essay format.


----------



## Marvin (Oct 16, 2002)

^^^
In essay format.


----------



## Slayer2003 (Jun 4, 2003)

oh, and, hows that research team doing on the baby situation? any progress?


----------



## Felonious Cat Stalker (May 1, 2002)

Slayer2003 said:


> Autobots or Decepticons?
> 
> paper or plastic?
> 
> ...


*A Brief Treatise on the Fight Between Good and Evil​*Fiction, Fantasy, Marketing and States of Energy in the Modern World​
In modern times, there have been struggles of epic proportions. Played out in the media, through clever marketing or at the molecular level, these struggle affect us all in our daily life. This paper will examine the most important of the battles
*Autobots vs Decepticons* 
The most important battle of the modern age has been the struggle for Earth, played out between the former inhabitants of Cybertron. Ruining their own planet, the rat bastards chose to fight their battles on Earth. Ever since Optimus prime kicked off though, the whole thing has gone down hill. We're calling this one a draw.
*Paper and Plastic.*
It appears plastic is losing. Recently, In Ottawa, Ontario, Canada (which just happens to be the home of your humble scribe), City council has taken it upon itself to first of all end the recycling of plastic bags and has now taken the step of banning them altogether from grocery stores, all in a cost cutting measure. Apparently, paper is more environmentally friendly, but it isn't known how people are going to get their gorceries home without handles on the bags.
*Coke or Pepsi*
Pepsi. Duh.
*CH3NO2 or CH4O*
This is a battle that has yet to be won. Many experts agree that neither of these compounds will actually become dominant over the other, but that engineers will actually develop something that will kick both their asses, making our cars go even faster.
*On or Off*
Our research team, who have taken on the philosophy that entropy is bad, didn't even bother to take time to expend the energy to explore this priblem. Given their proclivities though, we suspect they would have had a bias towards "off"

In conclusion, it is a really good thing that FCS will have a job starting next week as he seems to have too much time on his hands.


----------



## Felonious Cat Stalker (May 1, 2002)

Slayer2003 said:


> oh, and, hows that research team doing on the baby situation? any progress?


Our team has captured a male and female of the human species and placed them in a comfortable environment where they are under observation. No interpretable data has yet been produced, but we will keep you posted.


----------



## Rain-Xx (Jul 29, 2002)

FCS said:


> Dude, the premise of ask FCS is to only ask 1 question at a time, but I didn't put the rule in this version.


Sorry, sir.



FCS said:


> whereas a poor schmuck like yourself, living out in the left coast, can expect nothing better than 3 day old half cooked frites with runny gravy that has no artery clogging goodness and processed cheese slices on top. Also, to be truly good, said poutine must be made at a casse-croute or patiserrie. In short, n'est pas bon for you.


Aww crap. Looks like I'm stuck to New York Fries soggy wet pile of filth they call "poutine". 

When I make my cross-Canada trip with just my car, camping gear and a good woman like my ol' Pop before me, I'll make sure to try some real Poutine...


Now my question:
How do make up artists make wet/greasy hair look good in movies, but in real life it not only feels horrible, but looks worse as well?

... although I have a feeling it's because where there's a guy with greasy hair, there's a cute babe close by.


----------



## Felonious Cat Stalker (May 1, 2002)

Ranex said:


> Now my question:
> How do make up artists make wet/greasy hair look good in movies, but in real life it not only feels horrible, but looks worse as well?
> 
> ... although I have a feeling it's because where there's a guy with greasy hair, there's a cute babe close by.


They use special film that takes away all the ugly. Those stars actually look like crack whores after a week long bender, but the Kodakamax de-ugly film they have works wonders on all looks.


----------



## apachewoolf (Mar 7, 2004)

ok I have a question...does diet dr. pepper indeed have the asame great taste of regular dr. pepper when you snort it in a straw up your nose????


----------



## Felonious Cat Stalker (May 1, 2002)

Since they both will cook your nostrils, leaving a boquet of scorched hair followed by a smouldering skin aftertaste, yes, they do have the same great taste when snorted up your nose.


----------



## Blank (Aug 21, 2003)

will i be banned b4 weeks end?


----------



## Felonious Cat Stalker (May 1, 2002)

I consulted the magic 8 ball. All signs point to yes.


----------



## Blank (Aug 21, 2003)

well thats ghey...


----------



## Zac (Mar 10, 2004)

what did blank do to make FCS so unhappy?


----------



## Felonious Cat Stalker (May 1, 2002)

Nothing actually. I'm just busting his balls. I really don't have a problem with him.

It just makes for some good drama here on NF. He could cut back on the post whoring though.


----------



## Blank (Aug 21, 2003)

blankgazex said:


> well thats ghey...



again...


----------



## TheVodKA (Sep 19, 2002)

FCS,

Should NF have a pantheon for people who are god-like in certain traits with the one Zeus-Like God (Either Scott or Mike Young) presiding? 


PS, I hafta be on there since I'm the resident DSM God.


----------



## Felonious Cat Stalker (May 1, 2002)

We already have it. For some reason, you weren't invited. I'll see what I can do.


----------



## sno (Oct 4, 2002)

fcs, does my poop stink?


----------



## Felonious Cat Stalker (May 1, 2002)

Given that I can smell it form here, yes.

What is with people who think their poop don't stink? When my roomate moved in, he asked why there was matches in the bathroom. I said you light them after you dump and it won't stink up the house. "I don't have that problem" he says. WTF!!? Are you kidding me? You're god damn right you have that problem!!! I don't want to smell your shit!!!


----------



## Loki (Jan 12, 2004)

FCS......when will you retire from NF forums?


----------



## Felonious Cat Stalker (May 1, 2002)

As soon as they've paid me enough to retire on.


----------



## Loki (Jan 12, 2004)

OH SHIT!!!!!!!!! FCS you OWN!!!!!!! are you like a Nostradamus decendent?


----------



## Zac (Mar 10, 2004)

FCS, am I considered a regular?


----------



## Felonious Cat Stalker (May 1, 2002)

Loki said:


> OH SHIT!!!!!!!!! FCS you OWN!!!!!!! are you like a Nostradamus decendent?


Yeah, I've been moderating NF since 1532.


----------



## Loki (Jan 12, 2004)

FCS.....am i also a regular?


----------



## Felonious Cat Stalker (May 1, 2002)

NickZac said:


> FCS, am I considered a regular?


That depends. Do you poop every day? If so, you're probably regular. If you don't poop every day, you may have to increase your fibre intake or see a doctor.


----------



## Felonious Cat Stalker (May 1, 2002)

Loki said:


> FCS.....am i also a regular?


What's with these regular questions? Do you guys think I have nothing better to do than track your toilet habits? Well, I really don't have anything better to do, but I'm still not going to watch you poop.


----------



## Loki (Jan 12, 2004)

Well...  we just wanted a straing YES or NO :thumbup:


----------



## Felonious Cat Stalker (May 1, 2002)

A straight answer in Ask FCS is more rare than a real chick on NF. Swordfighters, all of you!!!


----------



## Loki (Jan 12, 2004)

LOL!

FCS!!!!!! is post whoring a SIN?!

will i get my RB this year?!

will Lionel (hondahater) come back to NF!?


im so bored, can you tell? :fluffy:


----------



## Felonious Cat Stalker (May 1, 2002)

1. No, it's a virtue. Almost, in the way that God will smite you if you start to do thing better than him. So you still gotta watch your back.
2. Your RB is on a boat RIGHT NOW!!!! A boat built by Hyundai of all things.
3. Lionel is actually a bot, he'll be brought out as admin sees fit. We're actually upgrading to version 4.0, which is why you haven't seen him in a while.
4. Yup.


----------



## Zac (Mar 10, 2004)

FCS said:


> What's with these regular questions? Do you guys think I have nothing better to do than track your toilet habits? Well, I really don't have anything better to do, but I'm still not going to watch you poop.


Well I generally poop and go on NF. Sometimes I take my laptop into the bathroom and surf NF while pooping.


----------



## Loki (Jan 12, 2004)

FCS!!!!! your so #%)#($%#$) SMART!!!!!! LOL

i want to be like you when i grow up! ^_^

buy me an RB :fluffy:


----------



## TheVodKA (Sep 19, 2002)

FCS said:


> We already have it. For some reason, you weren't invited. I'll see what I can do.


You lie! There was a court of justice but never a pantheon of gods! Oh what the hell, I'll make it


----------



## 95 SentraB13 (Jun 14, 2002)

I figured if anyone would know it would be this guy, plus it saves on starting a thread that I'm certain no one would reply too!  

What is the precise location of the vehicle speed sensor on a GA16DE engine w/ automatic transaxle? Picture aid would be appreciative by a 3rd party respondent.

If you can't answer my question... then "I say goo'day" to you sir.  

-Greg


----------



## Felonious Cat Stalker (May 1, 2002)

"Automatic" transaxle? You sir, must surely have dreamt about this. Such a device surely can not exist. I suppose such a device would do the shifting for the driver. Preposterous I say!!!

<--- Has never seen an automatic Sentra tranny in his life. It's true.


----------



## apachewoolf (Mar 7, 2004)

this guy I know can't deciee what he wants to get maybe you coulkd help..........it's between a vw camper thingy van, a bmw jdm or something, and a vovlo pinto I think he said I can't remember he has a poll about it it's called pick my next vehicle or something ...maybe you should check it out and give him some info



thanks mr wizard

chris(apachewoolf)


----------



## Felonious Cat Stalker (May 1, 2002)

This guy sounds like a nut. Good luck to him.


----------



## Rain-Xx (Jul 29, 2002)

After I finish re-building the Carb, check the electrical system and replace fluids, will this engine run?









more pics here


----------



## Felonious Cat Stalker (May 1, 2002)

Old Dusters never die, they just go to, umm, people who should know better.


----------



## Flying Vv (Apr 10, 2003)

who should know better?


----------



## Felonious Cat Stalker (May 1, 2002)

You, for one.


----------



## Marvin (Oct 16, 2002)

Wise FCS,

If i were to intend to buy a 4x4 non-car vehicle for driving in heavy snow, and I already own third gen Altima, would it be wrong for me to purchase a non-all wheel drive G35 Infin?


----------



## Marvin (Oct 16, 2002)

One more FCS..

Why do people post in the "Who's Up Late" thread at all hours of the day?


----------



## Felonious Cat Stalker (May 1, 2002)

Altim8GA said:


> Wise FCS,
> 
> If i were to intend to buy a 4x4 non-car vehicle for driving in heavy snow, and I already own third gen Altima, would it be wrong for me to purchase a non-all wheel drive G35 Infin?


Yup. I see no point in owning an SUV just to get around in snow. If you are constantly hauling shit, then fine, drain your pockets filling the damn thing with gas, but if not, a car will go through snow just as well.

In the last five years, I have only got a car well and truly stuck twice. Once was in an overnight rally when I crested a hill to find the other side was basically a river over ice. We hung it up real good in the snowbank. The other time was in some overplow on a rally stage road where I has pulled off to let a car go by. D'oh! To me, even AWD isn't all that needed, a Subaru would have just got me stuck that much more.


----------



## Felonious Cat Stalker (May 1, 2002)

Altim8GA said:


> One more FCS..
> 
> Why do people post in the "Who's Up Late" thread at all hours of the day?


Because it's past their nap time, so they think 3:00 in the afternoon is late.


----------



## Loki (Jan 12, 2004)

FC

is it bad to play the ouji board and find out answers from there instead of you?


----------



## Felonious Cat Stalker (May 1, 2002)

Loki said:


> FC
> 
> is it bad to play the ouji board and find out answers from there instead of you?


Where do you think the Oiuja board aquires it's wisdom? I taught it everything I know.*


*Ask FCS is just a bot invented by Scott. The answers in this thread are not typed by the user FCS whatsoever.


----------



## Coco (Apr 30, 2002)

Wow, I know a secret. This thread sucks!!!


----------



## Marvin (Oct 16, 2002)

Dear FCS,

Could this post win an award at the end of the year banquet?



Flying V said:


> you're parapgrahps are kinda like haggis, a bunch of shit in a flimsy casing. edible for only the unfortunate, and the scottish


----------



## Felonious Cat Stalker (May 1, 2002)

That is definately some good material. A contender for sure. Could you put it in context for me though?


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## Marvin (Oct 16, 2002)

Here you go.

http://www.nissanforums.com/showthread.php?t=67683


By the way, are my balls showing?


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## apachewoolf (Mar 7, 2004)

FCS I just passed my very first exam of the new school year with an 85% and recived 10 credit hours.......Will I continue to do well this entire year???

and yes your balls are showing


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## Felonious Cat Stalker (May 1, 2002)

Altim8GA said:


> Here you go.
> 
> http://www.nissanforums.com/showthread.php?t=67683
> 
> ...


Ding. Win!!!

BTW, apparently it's my balls that are showing. BRB.


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## Felonious Cat Stalker (May 1, 2002)

apachewoolf said:


> FCS I just passed my very first exam of the new school year with an 85% and recived 10 credit hours.......Will I continue to do well this entire year???
> 
> and yes your balls are showing


No, they're planning on shipping you back to that hellhole in the gulf. Sorry dude, but this semester will be a waste.


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## Marvin (Oct 16, 2002)

Why is this the greatest thread ever in the history of internet forums?


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## Felonious Cat Stalker (May 1, 2002)

This thread has it all. quick wit, stupid answers and other nonsense. Plus, apparently some n00bs have read the whole thing. Can't beat that.

BTW, I've been thinking of developing this idea into an entire advice column. Maybe an NF interweb wizzard can help me with some site ideas that I could easily update and stuff.


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## Marvin (Oct 16, 2002)

How is it the Magic Eight Ball is correct just as much as you are?


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## Felonious Cat Stalker (May 1, 2002)

Because we're both pulling the answers out of our ass. Only thing is, when you use the magic 8-ball, you are peering directly into it's ass. Pervert.


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## Marvin (Oct 16, 2002)

FCS said:


> Because we're both pulling the answers out of our ass. Only thing is, when you use the magic 8-ball, you are peering directly into it's ass. Pervert.



AAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA!!!!

B35t 4n5w3r 3v4r!!!!!


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## Flounder (Sep 4, 2003)

HAHAHA, I must ressurect this thread to ask, Why does the water in my toilet move around when it's wind outside?


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## Felonious Cat Stalker (May 1, 2002)

God is blowing bubbles in your sewer.


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## Whisper (Jan 21, 2004)

FCS said:


> A straight answer in Ask FCS is more rare than a real chick on NF. Swordfighters, all of you!!!


FCS, if we're all sword fighters, what type is the best sword to have?


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## chimmike (Oct 17, 2002)

FCS-----why do you run like you crapped your pants?



(no, you're not gonna live this one down)


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## Bumpin (Feb 18, 2003)

Whisper said:


> FCS, if we're all sword fighters, what type is the best sword to have?


Not that kind of swordfighter you n00b! STFU! :dumbass:


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## Whisper (Jan 21, 2004)

[email protected], I was hoping a choice of Katana or Broadsword. See how dense I can be? Must have misplaced mine.

So, where do I go shopping for a new sword?


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## Bumpin (Feb 18, 2003)

Any adult store u freak! LoL


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## Felonious Cat Stalker (May 1, 2002)

Whisper said:


> FCS, if we're all sword fighters, what type is the best sword to have?


I've met you and you aren't a swordfighter. Perhaps you shouldn't pursue this hobby.


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## Flying Vv (Apr 10, 2003)

FCS should i get some honey brown or bodingtons for this weekend?


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## Felonious Cat Stalker (May 1, 2002)

chimmike said:


> FCS-----why do you run like you crapped your pants?
> 
> 
> 
> (no, you're not gonna live this one down)


Try running with a helmet on your head through mud in an ill fittting racing suit, then we'll see who runs like a tard.


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## Felonious Cat Stalker (May 1, 2002)

Flying V said:


> FCS should i get some honey brown or bodingtons for this weekend?


Honey Brown. Did you know that Bod's is the cheap swill all the drunks drink in Manchester


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## Flying Vv (Apr 10, 2003)

didnt know that, but my roomie and his g/f are from surrey/ manchester so thats what we end up getting 9 times out of 10. i'll take your word on the honey brown


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## Bumpin (Feb 18, 2003)

FCS should I start taking roids or should I just stick to the protien shake i'm taking?


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## Scott (Apr 15, 2002)

FCS, you haven't been around nearly as much lately. You haven't been seeing another forum, have you?


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## Whisper (Jan 21, 2004)

FCS, why am I still at work?


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## Felonious Cat Stalker (May 1, 2002)

Bumpin said:


> FCS should I start taking roids or should I just stick to the protien shake i'm taking?


Roids are for pussies looking for the easy way. if you want to be on the dark side of the force, take roids, if you want to man up, do it naturally


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## Felonious Cat Stalker (May 1, 2002)

Scott said:


> FCS, you haven't been around nearly as much lately. You haven't been seeing another forum, have you?


 No, sweetie, I've been *gasp* working. Since I do menial labour, I can't sit in front of a computer all day. The good thing though is that my ass hasn't gotten fatter in the last 2 months. Don't fret though, next week i go back to perfessoring at college, and have 2 more days off/week.


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## Felonious Cat Stalker (May 1, 2002)

Whisper said:


> FCS, why am I still at work?


You are working for the MAN. the MAN is keeping you down. You need to tear a page from the book of FCS, where, at noon today I left work for beer. I only returned to retrieve my belongings & headed home after that. Good times.*




*Mind you, this was my last day and no one will really be able to do anything abolut it, so, uh, YMMV.


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## 7875 (Apr 3, 2003)

FCS,
do I look evil in my avatar?


_Yours,_
Tom


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## Felonious Cat Stalker (May 1, 2002)

You? Which one are you?


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## 7875 (Apr 3, 2003)

FCS said:


> You? Which one are you?


LOL, my avatar was recently changed 










While I have your attention, I guess I should ask which you like better.


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## asleepz (Feb 24, 2004)

Why can't I run my stock engine with 30 PSI of boost?


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## Felonious Cat Stalker (May 1, 2002)

irontom said:


> LOL, my avatar was recently changed
> 
> 
> 
> ...


eVIL TOM IS BETTER


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## Felonious Cat Stalker (May 1, 2002)

SKD_Tech said:


> Why can't I run my stock engine with 30 PSI of boost?


you *can* run it with 30 PSI, just not for very far. Go ahead, try it.


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## Flying Vv (Apr 10, 2003)

^ what he said


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## 7875 (Apr 3, 2003)

FCS said:


> eVIL TOM IS BETTER


tHANK YOU. 

*CHANGED*

Now....do I look evil?


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## Flying Vv (Apr 10, 2003)

actually you look hella gay


j/k


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## Felonious Cat Stalker (May 1, 2002)

^ what he said


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## 7875 (Apr 3, 2003)

FCS said:


> ^ what he said


Boo, I wanted a genuine FCS answer.


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## Flying Vv (Apr 10, 2003)

if FCS posted it, then wouldnt it be genuine?


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## 7875 (Apr 3, 2003)

Flying V said:


> if FCS posted it, then wouldnt it be genuine?


Staying on topic..

FCS, do you approve of FlyingV's intrusive posts?


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## Flying Vv (Apr 10, 2003)

dont be angry because my logic pwns you


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## Felonious Cat Stalker (May 1, 2002)

Flying V said:


> if FCS posted it, then wouldnt it be genuine?


Yes.


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## Felonious Cat Stalker (May 1, 2002)

irontom said:


> Staying on topic..
> 
> FCS, do you approve of FlyingV's intrusive posts?


You both should get a room and make sweet love all night long, then you'd be out of my hair for a bit.


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## Flying Vv (Apr 10, 2003)

im down


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## 7875 (Apr 3, 2003)

Is bumping this thread a bad or idea or relevant since you've returned? 


Also, are you trying to be tricky by returning on Easter or is it just a coincidence?


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## BII (May 13, 2004)

FCS, is it true you had to lay low for a while because of...ahem, legal issues?


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## TheVodKA (Sep 19, 2002)

FCS, why doesn't someone come up with bags that already have plastic inside of paper?


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## Dustin (Dec 14, 2003)

vodKA said:


> FCS, why doesn't someone come up with bags that already have plastic inside of paper?


ill answer this one, there is, have you ever opened up a bag of dog food?


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## TheVodKA (Sep 19, 2002)

KaRdoN said:


> ill answer this one, there is, have you ever opened up a bag of dog food?


worthless, you missed the idea, back to FCS!


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## Felonious Cat Stalker (May 1, 2002)

vodKA said:


> FCS, why doesn't someone come up with bags that already have plastic inside of paper?


You just did. So, go forth, patent your idea and proper young man.


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## pete? (Jul 6, 2004)

FCS said:


> You just did. So, go forth, patent your idea and proper young man.


FCS, why did you forget the s in prosper?

(welcome back bud)


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## I'm tired of my usernamee (Feb 16, 2004)

FCS. Why did you decide to be a Super Mod again?


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## Santa Claus (Jun 20, 2004)

where are you hiding the dodos?


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## 1900 (Jul 27, 2004)

where do babys come from


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## wildmanee (Nov 21, 2004)

Yeah, have you noticed any actions between your two specimens, the male and female humans?


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## Felonious Cat Stalker (May 1, 2002)

1.6pete said:


> FCS, why did you forget the s in prosper?
> 
> (welcome back bud)


To show my ddeep conbcern for how the man is holding me down. I just don't care anymore.


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## Felonious Cat Stalker (May 1, 2002)

91sentra said:


> FCS. Why did you decide to be a Super Mod again?


Why the hell not? Someone needs to keep you people in line.


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## Felonious Cat Stalker (May 1, 2002)

god said:


> where are you hiding the dodos?


LOL, I thought we discussed that. We aren't supposed to let the Nids know about these things.


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## Felonious Cat Stalker (May 1, 2002)

1900 said:


> where do babys come from


We're on the verge of a discovery. I'm asking a collegue of mine about it, he just had one.


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## Felonious Cat Stalker (May 1, 2002)

wildmane said:


> Yeah, have you noticed any actions between your two specimens, the male and female humans?


I'll have some feedback on this as soon as I'm able to determine wheter or not it is OK to date a stripper.


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## black_ser95 (Mar 19, 2004)

why are people stupid drivers? why don't they use there blinkers?


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## Felonious Cat Stalker (May 1, 2002)

black_ser95 said:


> why are people stupid drivers? why don't they use there blinkers?


Because no one is around to punch these ingrates in the face when they step out of their cars. More punches=more signalling.


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## wildmanee (Nov 21, 2004)

FCS, can you fly?


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## Felonious Cat Stalker (May 1, 2002)

wildmane said:


> FCS, can you fly?


Only on weekends.


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## black_ser95 (Mar 19, 2004)

FCS why do you own me?


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## Zac (Mar 10, 2004)

FCS, is FCS your initials and if your first name Frank or Fred?


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## Marvin (Oct 16, 2002)

Koop and Adam have a love child.

What color is car key in an ignition of the Golf that they consumate their relationship in?


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## Felonious Cat Stalker (May 1, 2002)

black_ser95 said:


> FCS why do you own me?


It's nothing personal, I pwn everyone. That's just the way it is, I don't make up the rules.


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## Felonious Cat Stalker (May 1, 2002)

NickZac said:


> FCS, is FCS your initials and if your first name Frank or Fred?


*Ban* for not knowing the origins of teh FCS


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## Zac (Mar 10, 2004)

FCS said:


> *Ban* for not knowing the origins of teh FCS


That isn't very nice FCS Motorsports


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## Felonious Cat Stalker (May 1, 2002)

Mark said:


> Koop and Adam have a love child.
> 
> What color is car key in an ignition of the Golf that they consumate their relationship in?


Black, I was there to film it.


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## Felonious Cat Stalker (May 1, 2002)

NickZac said:


> That isn't very nice FCS Motorsports


I'm not here for your self esteem.


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## Zac (Mar 10, 2004)

FCS said:


> I'm not here for your self esteem.


You told me you were in the other version


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## Felonious Cat Stalker (May 1, 2002)

NickZac said:


> You told me you were in the other version


That was many moons ago, things have changed. I have a new mantra. Two, actually. The other is "it's not my problem."


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## Zac (Mar 10, 2004)

FCS said:


> That was many moons ago, things have changed. I have a new mantra. Two, actually. The other is "it's not my problem."


But what is the first?


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## Felonious Cat Stalker (May 1, 2002)

NickZac said:


> But what is the first?


Uh, "I'm not here for your self esteem."

Dumbass.


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## Zac (Mar 10, 2004)

FCS said:


> Uh, "I'm not here for your self esteem."
> 
> Dumbass.


doesnt "I'm not here for your self esteem" fall into "It's not my problem"?

Smartass.


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## pete? (Jul 6, 2004)

why do canuks have those crazy ass handle bar moustaches?


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## Dustin (Dec 14, 2003)

why is mark getting married?


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## BII (May 13, 2004)

Why didn't you answer my question, are you avoiding telling us teh truth surrounding your absence?


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## pete? (Jul 6, 2004)

KaRdoN said:


> why is mark getting married?


iv got this one


for that PIMP ASS honey moon. thats why.


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## 7875 (Apr 3, 2003)

Am I not worthy of having my questions answered? 

I mean, I DID bump the shit....GAWD!


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## I'm Slow (Dec 30, 2004)

irontom said:


> Am I not worthy of having my questions answered?
> 
> I mean, I DID bump the shit....GAWD!


FCS where have you been all of this time?


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## NissanGirl2ooSX (Mar 15, 2004)

why is my car piece of junk? (besides that its a hyundai)


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## kaptainkrollio (Jul 29, 2003)

Where the fuck were you?


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## I'm tired of my usernamee (Feb 16, 2004)

FCS, are waffles still good as ever?


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## black_ser95 (Mar 19, 2004)

slow200 said:


> FCS where have you been all of this time?



having buttsecks with scott












































j/k


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## I'm tired of my usernamee (Feb 16, 2004)

Mighty FCS,^^^^why is he gay with Mr. Eous?


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## black_ser95 (Mar 19, 2004)

91sentra said:


> Mighty FCS,^^^^why is he gay with Mr. Eous?



we broke up, we were lesbians, not gays read this to understand


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## Dustin (Dec 14, 2003)

black_ser95 said:


> we broke up, we were lesbians, not gays read this to understand


noobs dont understand how much you 2 loved being lesbians.


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## BII (May 13, 2004)

FCS, do you have Coco tied up in your basement?

A struggle for OT domination perhaps?


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## Felonious Cat Stalker (May 1, 2002)

NickZac said:


> doesnt "I'm not here for your self esteem" fall into "It's not my problem"?
> 
> Smartass.


No, those are 2 unique mantras that can be used for specific situations:

Mantra 1:
"What do you think of my project?"
"Well, it doesn't appear that you've put much effort into it and you show no signs of improving you skills."
"That's rather harsh, isn't it?"
"I'm not here for your self esteem."

Mantra 2:
"OMG, I've missed 3 classes and I seem to be behind on my projects. What can you do to help me?"
"It's not my problem."

Any questions? Anyone?.. Anyone?.. Bueller?...Bueller?


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## Felonious Cat Stalker (May 1, 2002)

1.6pete said:


> why do canuks have those crazy ass handle bar moustaches?


It gives your girl something to hold onto when she's riding you cowgirl style.


----------



## Felonious Cat Stalker (May 1, 2002)

KaRdoN said:


> why is mark getting married?


<3

That's it, plain and simple.


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## Felonious Cat Stalker (May 1, 2002)

bII said:


> Why didn't you answer my question, are you avoiding telling us teh truth surrounding your absence?


What question? The fact I was absent probably had something to do with the fact I didn't answer. Yes, in fact I am avoiding telling you people the truth about my mysterious disappearance.


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## Felonious Cat Stalker (May 1, 2002)

irontom said:


> Am I not worthy of having my questions answered?
> 
> I mean, I DID bump the shit....GAWD!


I didn't catch it, I guess. Repeat and I shall answer.

You are worthy of having your question answered, but remember that I am not here for your self esteem.


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## Felonious Cat Stalker (May 1, 2002)

slow200 said:


> FCS where have you been all of this time?


Out with your mom showing her a good time.


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## Felonious Cat Stalker (May 1, 2002)

NissanGirl2ooSX said:


> why is my car piece of junk? (besides that its a hyundai)


OMG hi 2 U!!!! A girl on NF!!!

God, I need a date.

Is it a new Hyundai? At least you'll have a good Warranty. I'm pretty disappointed with a lot of new cars right now. You could always pimp a '92 VW Golf like me. As too why, maybe the gods are punishing you for not going on dates with FCS. I'm hot, you know.

God, am I ever sad.


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## Felonious Cat Stalker (May 1, 2002)

kaptainkrollio said:


> Where the fuck were you?


Oh, and your mom was there too.


----------



## Felonious Cat Stalker (May 1, 2002)

91sentra said:


> FCS, are waffles still good as ever?


the goodness of waffles increases at an exponential rate. Have you tried the waffle house crack flavoured waffles? They seem to be addicitive! :crazy:


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## Felonious Cat Stalker (May 1, 2002)

91sentra said:


> Mighty FCS,^^^^why is he gay with Mr. Eous?


Riiiiiiiiiiiight /dr evil


----------



## Felonious Cat Stalker (May 1, 2002)

bII said:


> FCS, do you have Coco tied up in your basement?
> 
> A struggle for OT domination perhaps?


Not quite. I had him shipped via UPS to Khartoum, with no passport, money and just wearing a leopard print thong. I guess he's trying to "earn" his way back as we speak.

The OT domination part is correct though.


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## pete? (Jul 6, 2004)

FCS said:


> It gives your girl something to hold onto when she's riding you cowgirl style.


greatest answer ever..............i missed you. :thumbup:


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## Zac (Mar 10, 2004)

FCS said:


> No, those are 2 unique mantras that can be used for specific situations:
> 
> Mantra 1:
> "What do you think of my project?"
> ...



But for mantra 1, you could also say "That's not my problem".


----------

